This book broke me.

It broke me precisely the way I needed to be unmade so I can rebuild myself afresh.

It was painful. It was horrendous. It was brutal.

But it was necessary.

And I’m all the better for it.

I’ve been on the inward journey for some 7 years now and up until reading this book I have been feeling rather stagnant. I craved more and more depth in my learning to help me move forward and this book was exactly what I needed.

Nicole, aka @the.holistic.psychologist, shares her own experiences along each chapter and it was a privilege to both learn from her and witness her journey. She shows you that healing is a process, one that can be done, outlines the path, and gives your tools for it.

Each chapter poses crucial self-examining questions which were the practical thinking exercises I needed. My analytical mind lapped it up and went to work in a frenzy. I began peeling, ripping rather, more and more layers off until I was raw, until I’ve finally arrived at the source of all my pain.

At long last, I have arrived at the place I have been trying to reach.

It was brilliant.

I was elated.

And then I slid.

Looking inside your own mind to see who you truly were and what you were made of is super confronting and intimidating. It was ugly, not because I didn’t like what I saw, but because it was so exposed.

It was painful. It was horrendous. It was brutal.

And then the hard part began.

I had no idea the most difficult part of healing is the rebuilding part!

The shedding of my layers gave me an improved awareness of my patterns. I became acutely conscious of them happening in real time and I learnt just how incessant and relentless they were.

It was extremely exhausting to battle constantly to stop myself succumbing to these unwanted patterns. There was no respite. It was scary as fuck that my deadliest foe lives inside my own head and it does not rest.

Since my depression over 20 years ago I’ve been cultivating my resources, building my resilience so I don’t break my mind again, fail! My meditation practice has seen me through many minor MindStorms. I have a note in my computer called “When in hole” that reminds me of all the things to do to get through a storm. I’ve picked up more strategies to soothe my nervous system from this book and have put them to immediate use. Still, I was unable to escape the punishing darkness. I was constantly in tears. I was stuck. And then I shut down.

It was the reset I needed.

As much as I understand that I’m ultimately the only person who could help myself for I’m the owner of my mind and the only person who can decide what happens inside, I also recognise when professional help is warranted. Much to the relief to my darling husband I’ve directed myself to a mental health break and also sort the help of a psychologist. I’ve been resting and things are turning around.

This book has played a major role in my remaking, I’m grateful for it and I highly recommend it. I chose to go all-in with a bang because I wanted it but I do not recommend it. Your healing journey is unique to you and you get to choose if and when you go on it and you dictate the pace. If you feel like reading it once through first before doing any of the exercises, great. If you decide to work through it all over a year, two years, or more, also great. 

Remember, it takes immense courage to look inside your head so if you are on this journey, I see you, I love you, and you’ve got this.

Grab your copy of How To Do The Work here*.